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thisaintbc) wrote2024-10-22 09:06 pm
thisaintbc) wrote2024-10-22 09:06 pm
exchange letters & requests
I'm by no means an expert - some of my exchange letters get a little too long, and I don't actually reliably participate in that many exchanges - but here are some of the things I've found help make for a good exchange letter and set of requests.
Requests:
The purpose of a good exchange letter is to help your gifter understand what you'd like, what you definitely wouldn't like, and what you want out of the exchange. That can be translated into a few elements: a list of things you enjoy, a more expanded version of your DNW list (this is a great chance to clarify where there might be potential exceptions or edge cases), some further info on your ship preferences if you've requested any rarepairs or "Character/Other" type pairings, a section expanding on your requests a little, and a link to your bookmarks and/or fic recs tag. I also find it useful to emphasize the things I'm okay with that can be fandom no-gos; I don't mind major character death and love a good tragedy, and that isn't something people are likely to assume I'd enjoy if I don't explicitly say so.
Your exchange letter should be clearly organized, but it doesn't have to be an award-winning piece of writing or anything. I usually start with a thank you, move into what I like, then a paragraph or bulleted list of what I don't want, then expand on relationships if I'm doing so, then a bulleted list with each item starting with "Request #X". The conclusion, such that it is, is a reassurance that I'm open to them interpreting my requests broadly and a link to my bookmarks.
Often in exchanges, we focus on what we don't want - we require people to respect DNW lists, but don't talk much about how to communicate what would be exciting for us to receive. To me, that's the fundamental purpose of an exchange letter. It gives you a chance to elaborate on what you like, what you're asking for and why, and how broad or narrow each request is. As a general rule of thumb, specificity helps inspire (or provide hard guard rails) while generality frees your gifter to take that inspiration and run with it. A list of possible directions to take a concept in can be useful, because it balances these two elements; you're offering specific examples of things you'd like, but as a buffet, not a directive. And making sure you have one very broad, open request means that people who prefer playing in metaphorical sandboxes can still find a request of yours that works for them.
The exchange letter also gives you a chance to delve into DNWs a little more, but even that I think of more positively than anything; you're outlining where there are exceptions or why you don't like things, so your gifter is better able to navigate how to make sure they toe the right side of any potential lines. For example, I almost universally list infidelity as a hard DNW - but in my exchange letter DNW list, clarify that I'm fine with portraying characters in open relationships as long as everyone's onboard.
What about you all? Any tips or tricks for writing good exchange letters and requests?
Requests:
- Provide 1-3 more specific requests, to help inspire your gifter and give them a sense of direction. Even if they don't end up using these, they can be helpful.
- I've found it seems to work well to come up with a sort of sliding scale of requests, ranging from a more specific prompt all the way down to something pretty generic.
- At least one request that is as general as you can bear. It is absolutely vital for this that you're clear about what your hard lines are. Make sure you have a specific DNW list and address the question of how far you're okay with them straying from the characters/pairings listed in the request.
- Suggested wording is something along the lines of "Please use at least one of the requested characters or pairings and still respect my DNWs, but aside from that, anything goes!"
- There's definitely a balancing act between trying to offer up lots of possibilities but not overwhelming your gifter with requests. More requests, especially if they're for different characters/pairings/fandoms, means your chances of matching go up; on the other hand, staring down a wall of requests can be tough. I often aim for 3-4 requests - unless it's an exchange with TONS of possible fandoms, in which case I abandon all caution and just try to maximize matching potential.
The purpose of a good exchange letter is to help your gifter understand what you'd like, what you definitely wouldn't like, and what you want out of the exchange. That can be translated into a few elements: a list of things you enjoy, a more expanded version of your DNW list (this is a great chance to clarify where there might be potential exceptions or edge cases), some further info on your ship preferences if you've requested any rarepairs or "Character/Other" type pairings, a section expanding on your requests a little, and a link to your bookmarks and/or fic recs tag. I also find it useful to emphasize the things I'm okay with that can be fandom no-gos; I don't mind major character death and love a good tragedy, and that isn't something people are likely to assume I'd enjoy if I don't explicitly say so.
Your exchange letter should be clearly organized, but it doesn't have to be an award-winning piece of writing or anything. I usually start with a thank you, move into what I like, then a paragraph or bulleted list of what I don't want, then expand on relationships if I'm doing so, then a bulleted list with each item starting with "Request #X". The conclusion, such that it is, is a reassurance that I'm open to them interpreting my requests broadly and a link to my bookmarks.
Often in exchanges, we focus on what we don't want - we require people to respect DNW lists, but don't talk much about how to communicate what would be exciting for us to receive. To me, that's the fundamental purpose of an exchange letter. It gives you a chance to elaborate on what you like, what you're asking for and why, and how broad or narrow each request is. As a general rule of thumb, specificity helps inspire (or provide hard guard rails) while generality frees your gifter to take that inspiration and run with it. A list of possible directions to take a concept in can be useful, because it balances these two elements; you're offering specific examples of things you'd like, but as a buffet, not a directive. And making sure you have one very broad, open request means that people who prefer playing in metaphorical sandboxes can still find a request of yours that works for them.
The exchange letter also gives you a chance to delve into DNWs a little more, but even that I think of more positively than anything; you're outlining where there are exceptions or why you don't like things, so your gifter is better able to navigate how to make sure they toe the right side of any potential lines. For example, I almost universally list infidelity as a hard DNW - but in my exchange letter DNW list, clarify that I'm fine with portraying characters in open relationships as long as everyone's onboard.
What about you all? Any tips or tricks for writing good exchange letters and requests?